A rolicking collection of 75 limericks (see below), each focused on one or two of the most popular dog breeds in America. The limericks themselves make little attempt at scientific accuracy or political correctness, i.e., what dog breeders would say about their breeds. On the other hand, the descriptions to the left of each limerick (adapted mostly from the American Kennel Club’s website) are true and honest.
 
Now, I am fond of dogs, so don’t go getting your knickers in a twist if you happen to own a Bichon or Maltese. I have kept them, nursed them, romped with them, and even watched a dog show or two on television. I have put two to sleep—the indomitable beagle Penny and the irrepressible labradoodle Dusty. At the same time, I don’t get all weak-kneed at the sight of a Pomeranian in a picnic basket or a retriever gumming a tennis ball. I am, after all, a cat owner, and therefore inclined to regard all pets as the enemy.
 
The fact is, most dogs are funny, and some breeds are very funny—in looks, habits, and other ways that only their masters appreciate. They (and, yes, their owners) lend themselves to a certain amount of spoofing, a bit of gentle ribbing, a tweak of the nose so to speak. How else to describe the amble of a Corgi,the buffoonery of a barrel-toting Saint Bernard, or the sheer goofiness of an English sheepdog? Like the writer who loves wine but still pokes a finger in the eye of wine snobbery, I seek to humble. This is grist, people, and it cannot remain unground.